Greg's Blog

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Happy Veterans Day

Man, do I suck at keeping this thing updated. I will be surprised if I have anybody still reading it. I hope all of you have had a blessed time since we last spoke. Well I guess I really do all the talking. Thanks to Breanna, for her comments, but I have to admit I have no idea who you are, sorry.

I would like to send a special thank you to the veterans in my family:
Larry Hill, Larry Stanton, Gene Young, Charlie Hartsoe, David Travis, Dave Stanton, and if I have left anyone out please forgive me, thank you too unknown or carelessly overlooked soldier.

We all owe you each a huge pat on the back for signing your name on the dotted line to potentially risk your life to defend the rest of us spoiled Americans. The relatively posh lifestyle we all enjoy has been maintained by the sweat of your brow and the fact that you had the sack to stand between us and those foreign threats that would jeopardize not only our royal lifestyle in this country compared to the rest of humanity, but our very lives. God bless you all.

Here is a little glimpse of the last couple days. I am just going to fast forward you to current time, since an unimaginable bunch of crap has happened since the last time I posted, and I have had so many setbacks, trials, and bad weeks that stretched into bad months at a time, that I could not ever begin to do the stories justice at this point, nor would you want to sit through all the bitching anyway. So lets just jump in the time machine and say I am still here and fighting and we will pick up with this past weekend. Forgive me but it is less painful for all of us this way I think, and hey who it the storyteller in my little tale anyway.

Sunday the 9th I had a pretty good day for the first time in a long time.
So I begged Cindy to take me out of the house to do some errands, just for a change of scenery, you know.

Well I wore her out and she had to give up and come home while I was still raring to go and had about 10 more stores on my list ( no way that was all getting done, but could go a while longer. We were out and about for around 3 hours. When we got home at about 4 PM she went to sleep on the couch as soon as her butt hit the cushions and I wrapped Christmas presents and did home paperwork for the next 7 hours or so.

Well today was a whole other story, might as well be a whole other book. I must have really overdone it Sunday.

I could not keep consciousness at all, every time I tried to wake up my eyes just shut again and I passed right back out. So tired and weak, and in pain all over. I skipped a Dr's appointment I had at 9 AM, there is no way I could have made it down there. The best I could do was stagger to the bathroom every 3 hours or so when the need woke me because it had become an emergency situation and have a last second save, very painful restroom session. Let the dogs out on each of these sessions too. They behave so great when I am feeling at my worst. I guess they can sense it, and they do not give me any crap.

Nearly passed out while standing every time I tried to get up, just saw stars, and my legs quaked and shook trying to support my skin and bones frame. What a difference 24 hours makes. I was maybe in a standing or sitting up position for a total of 7 mins all day up to that point.

Finally at 3:30 PM, I was able to stay awake for a while. I was starving by then and was thinking what is the quickest thing I could possibly make but palatable enough for em to want to eat it, just to stay alive until Cindy got home at 5:30. I had made my sweet and sour meatballs a few nights ago during a late night burst of energy and thought that a bowl of that served over some plain brown rice I already had made would give me the best bang for my buck in that situation. Good hearty sustenance to quell the starving beast and no prep needed, just heat and serve, not to mention that it is Damn good. So many times I think I am very hungry and I make something, but the time I sit down to eat it, I just look at the food and lose any apatite at all that I may have had. It even gets to the point of nausea and I have not taken a bite yet.

This time when I tried to stand up I just could not do it. I resigned myself to just stay hungry and wait until Cindy got home from work. The thought of 2 mins in front of the microwave just blew my mind, it sounded like doing a marathon. I felt like there was no way I could possibly do it.

So I sat down and tried to ignore my stomach growling like a lion while it searched my body to find some fat in my system to consume. I was down to 132 lbs and I am full of fluid and have a abdominal water drain scheduled at MUSC the next day, which will take another 10 lbs off. So that 132 is my highest possible weight right now. I need to eat every thing I can hold down at this point.

After 15 mins of that I could ignore it no longer and grinded through the pain and dizziness to fill a bowl halfway with rice and about 6 1 inch in diameter meatballs. Then propped my head against the microwave door while it nuked all the flavor out of my beautiful, gourmet, homemade, meatballs like a criminal. Hate to butcher such a creation, but had to do what had to be done. After what seemed an eternity (of 2 actual mins) the destruction was over and, I grabbed a fresh bottle of Lipton Raspberry White Tea, during my stumble back to my nest on the couch.

Anyway I obviously survived, and my voracious hunger ended up pulling me through a little over half of the half bowl I had dished. Then of course I felt like I was going to be sick. Such are the days of our lives.


I was able to stay awake for the rest of the day after that. Then when Cindy is ready to go to sleep for the night, I am just starting to feel a little like a human and have a tiny flame of energy. This happens frequently and causes a conflict of varying degrees almost every time, unless I am really sick and sleeping 20 + hours a day.

So now it is now well after 4 AM (don't know why it says 3:22 on the posting time on the blog, must b when I started working on it) and she is knocked out, (not by me in case you were wondering), and here I am feeling better than I have all day, still like shit, but better shit than before, tolerable.

That is about all for now that I will bore you with. I will really try to do postings more frequently, but it seems so hard to find the time to do it. Please bear with me, and know that I really appreciate your interest in my little world. The fact that someone would take time out of their lives to hear about mine, or to even be concerned for my situation is something I am thankful for. So thanks to all of you. You are all heroes to me, like my sweet Superhero, the Saint Cindy.

Remember to be nice to everyone you meet for we all are fighting our own battles no matter how small. And please help control the pet population, have your pets spayed or neutered. There are an unending supply of pets at your local SPCA or shelter looking to get out of jail. Change a life, bust them out of prison and they will think your house is a royal palace. At the same time you gain a loyal companion for life that will never let you down if you treat them right.

Already have a pet, I will wager that they would love nothing more than to have a new brother or sister. Already have 2, how big of a deal would 1 more be, it will just blend in with the crowd. There is not a more happy scene on this earth than to watch the beauty and innocence of a play session between Gods smallest, simple creatures. I defy even the hardest criminal to not smile at that.

If you do not know how to go about getting your little buddy "fixed" just put a comment on the blog with your email and it will get to me. I will tell you exactly what needs to be done and tell you where to go, the cost and walk you through every step of the way personally. Can't afford it is your excuse, hell I will maybe even chip in. It is a very easy procedure and not painful at all for the animal.

Be good and live every day to the fullest you physically can. Don't spend your life on the couch like me until you are forced to live that way. I would give up every thing not to have to live that way now that there is no alternative. Chances are pretty good that all of you will have to do your own prison time of some length like this before you face the pearly gates. No reason to do self imposed time now.

Love to all,
Greg "The Chemo Warrior" Hill