Greg's Blog

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Happy Labor Day weekend

Voice of the Narrator: On the food networks newest show, "Battles in the kitchen with The Chemo Warrior" see what our hero was up to. It was a war for the ages, stay tuned to see what's up.

My new hobby seems to be culinary arts.
Not that what you would call what I produce art, but cooking at least takes my mind off being sick, and I can do it at home, and at my own pace.

I am a big sissy and watch the food network all day like a housewife, which is essentially what I am lately. I can feel my balls shrinking as I write this. So here are some of my exploits.

For dinner one night I decided to do wild salmon with and my island vegetable blend.
For the veggies I did cubed baby carrots, diced green pepper, chunks of yellow onion, large cubes of celery, a few cubed mushroom caps, 1/4 cup pineapple chunks with juice, 1 tbsp lemon juice, 1 tbsp lime juice.
Put all this in a foil pack, pour 1/4 cup soy sauce over mixture, add about 2 tbps of Italian dressing. Wrap up the foil pack and put on grill at about 300 until carrots are tender enough for you.

Back to the salmon, make a dry rub mixture of garlic salt, lemon pepper, fresh cracked pepper, and old bay, put in foil pack. Add enough soy sauce to cover the bottom of the foil pack so as to steep the soy into the fish during cooking. Add a little lemon juice directly on top of steaks if you desire.
Cook all at 300 for about 4 mins, then open your fish foil packs and flip the fish, wrap it back up and mix your veggies. Continue to cook for about 3 or 4 more mins.
Very low fat, high protein dinner. Man was I pleased.



I had worked on this prep stuff for about 2 hours on Saturday night. Then worked on some stuff for the dehydrator for about an hour. After working all that time it was about 10 PM and I was too exhausted to actually cook the dinner. So I decided to cook and eat it Sunday. I had canned ravioli for dinner instead. Big let down huh.
Well Sunday night came and I start working on the grill and make the great dinner, and ate it about 8 PM. It was fantastic. Then I threw it up at 10 PM. Even bigger let down huh. Got to enjoy it for 2 hours though.



In the dehydrator I did 3 batches of fruit, it is going so good.
I did Tofu Jerky for Cindy, 3 differant flavors of beef jerky for me and dried bananas, kiwi, peaches and plums.
















The plums have been the best by far. They taste like candy. And this is of course healthy no additives or preservatives or sugar.
I went and bought another 1 and 1/2 pounds of plums and did a whole batch of just plums.
I finished those and had Cindy pick me up 3 lbs of plums while they were still on sale for 99 cents a lb. I dehydrated all 3 lbs. My mouth is watering thinking about them. God are they good.
The next week Mom came to visit for a few hours Sunday the 17th and we went out to lunch. She had brought me some Fuji apples from their tree in their backyard, and some little purple plums from the tree in the front yard.
Then after they left, I got to work in the kitchen.

I had the urge to make an apple pie.
Have never done anything remotely close to this, but seemed to pull it off.
Used a ready made dairy pie crust and some apple pie filling but mixed in several of the fresh Fuji apples mom brought into the pie as well. Wanted to try my hand at a basket weave pie crust top, and it came out pretty good.
Trick is keeping the crust cold, cold, cold, so it does not tear or smush, or fall apart, as you have to handle it quite a bit.
Had to bake it a bit longer than expected to get the crust on top to brown up. Need to put foil around the outside perimeter of the crust to keep it from getting burnt, while browning up the center of the crust.
See pics below.





































While that was baking I made a nice refreshing blender full of cocktails I called a Fish Bowl (due to its color) for Cindy.
















Cindy was bitching at me to eat something for myself while all this was going on, because it was getting so late. So I made a Philly cheese steak for myself in the skillet and had blue box Kraft Mac and Cheese on the side, no pictures of that, sorry.

Then wanted to try my hand at fruit leather, like a fruit roll up in the dehydrator since I had so much fruit laying around.
But it was getting too late and I could not start it in the dehydrator or I would have to be checking on it all through the night.
So had to wait to puree it until the morning, but I did prep the fruits ready to go.
Sliced several of the little plums and apples along with ripe strawberries, peaches, and cherries to be blended and then go in dehydrator. See below.

















Did one batch of Peaches, Fuji Apples and Plums with Vanilla Yogurt and a splash of pineapple juice.
The other batch is Fuji Apples, Fresh Cherries, Strawberries, and Vanilla yogurt.
Put them in the dehydrator on Monday morning.
They both turned out good in texture and such, but the cherry and strawberry one is the best.
Tastes just like fruit roll ups from the store, but without any of the sugar.
The peach, apple, plum version did not have a lot of flavor.

Ended up having another great day energy wise that Sunday when mom was down. I am so happy I ended up having good days on the weekend so I could be lucid to spend time with Cindy while she is home. I really needed the boost. Crazy thing is I only had 2 hours sleep Saturday night/Sunday morning from 5 AM to 7 AM.
I am sure I will pay the price on Monday when this all catches up with me. I seem to have an adrenaline burst when someone comes to visit because I am so excited to see actual people and not just the dogs like I do all week.

Did moms yard grown Fuji Apples and Plums in the dehydrator too. First I soaked the apples in a bowl of ice water with fresh squeezed lime juice for 2 hours to give them some more flavor. Glad I did. They were just right with a little sour kick.

My next attempt in the kitchen was Homemade Pickles.
Worked on it Friday on and off throughout the day ( had to let spears soak in ice water for 4 hours after slicing for the option to get crispy pickles instead of normal limp ones, Cindy always really likes the crispy ones like Claussen from the refrigerated meat department ).
By about 9 PM they were ready to be packaged and refrigerated.
I used a quick pickleing method that would have them ready in a day.
So I jarred them up and let them refrigerate to soak up the brine overnight.
By morning they were ready to try.
Of course the longer you wait, the more flavorings they absorb and the stronger they become.
They will last up to 3 months in the fridge. If I do another batch in the future, I will try a long term, Ball type jar pickling method, and put them up for use all year.


The pickles turned out ok.
I did dill spears, but they came out a little on the sweet side, other than that they are good.
Very crunchy, have a good snap when you bite into them like fresh deli pickles, which is essentially what they are.
I got them from the farmers market, fresh picked local cukes, big ones.
Then sliced them in half, then quartered the halves to make the spears. So they are a little smaller than say mount olive spears in length, but they are wider in girth, since I started with a huge cuke.
The whole batch started with 7 of the largest cukes I could find, 2 for $1.00 at the farmers market. How can you beat that price. So $3.50 for cucumbers, and then about $1.50 worth of pickling spices and vinegar, so for $5.00 it yielded about 1 and 1/3 gallons of pickles.
They came out a little on the sweet side of a dill pickle, so I am now trying to find a way to tone down the sweet flavor some.
I really do not like sweet pickles.
To do this I had the idea to set aside a little test jar and add more dill weed, and some black pepper, and celery salt to the brine.
After soaking a day or two they were certainly less sweet, but had become somewhat mushy in texture for some reason. The others were still crisp. Could have to do with air exposure or something I guess.
At this point I doubt I will make them again, or if I do I will try some other combination of pickling spices.

My next attempt was a creamy chicken and rice, with mushroom, Lemon Soup.
It is fantastic. I get this from one of the Greek restaurants around here, and it is to die for, so I thought I would try my own from the hip interpretation just by guessing at ingredients. I think it turned out every bit as good as theirs. This was a huge win, and I will be making this many more times.

While the soup was slow cooking my beautiful hard working wife was outside mowing. I made a her a drink called Tokyo Tea for her to enjoy when she finished.
1/4 cup Rum, 1/4 cup Vodka, 1/4 cup of Midori Liquor, 1 cut up lime to float in the pitcher, and a 12 oz can of 7Up. Yeilds about 3 or 4 servings.
It was a beautiful rich lime green color and easy to make. The fresh cut lime wedges floating in the glass carafe I made it in really set it off visually.
I chilled a margarita glass in the freezer for about an hour, added a quarter of a lime on a toothpick for extra garnish, and had it ready for her when she finished mowing. All we had to do was pour it over crushed ice.
She sipped it in the tub during a long bubble bath after sweating in the hot sun doing the lawn work. Do I know how to take care of my girl of what?
She found it a little too sweet, but other than that liked it. If I blend it with crushed ice to diffuse the sweetness she will probably like it better next time.

So in summary,
WINS:
Wild Salmon
Island Veggies
Beef Jerky
Tofu Jerky
All of the dryed fruit
Cherry/Strawberry fruit roll ups
Apple Pie
Fish Bowl drink
Dryed home grown Plums and Lime infused Apples
Lemon Chicken Soup

LOSSES:
Peach/Apple/Plum roll ups
Pickles (more like a tie really, they are just ok)
Tokyo Tea drink (also more like a tie)

Voice of the Narrator: We come to an end of this episode of "Battles in the kitchen with the Chemo Warrior". Tune in next week to see what our apron clad heroic crusader is up to on our next show.

I had a drain scheduled for Friday the 22nd, I just had one done that Tuesday. Comparatively speaking I was feeling good and not tight in the stomach, so I called and delayed it until the coming Monday, since I had to be down there for an Oncologists visit anyway. I took about a 2 hour nap later in that afternoon, and when I woke up my stomach was tight as a drum and I was full of fluid, and I was already having a hard time getting around. Wish I had not messed with the appointment. It was going to be a rough weekend, limping around like a tick about to pop. Fortunately I was able to grit my teeth and wait it out until Monday and did not have to go into the ER to have it done.

So I ended up spending over half the day at MUSC Monday between the blood work, the Dr. appointment and the stomach drain.
I had a on and off week the rest of that week. Mostly off. Monday was bad and I had the drain in the afternoon, so the night was even worse. Wednesday I went to the dentist and actually drove myself. That is huge after spending the last 2 weeks in the wheel chair when I had to walk or stand for more than 30 seconds or so other than the exception of the weekend I felt so good on.
More bad news at the dentists. I have to have another 4 cavities filled. This will make 8 in the last 3 months. The Chemotherapy is destroying the enamel from the inside out. There is nothing I can do to prevent it. Chemo has very direct effects on all aspects of your mouth.
Last Thursday was terrible did not get off the couch for more than 5 mins all day until Cindy got home from work. I was actually stuck there from 2:00 on. I literally could not get up or stand under my own power. Good thing I had a drink handy, and of course my Mobile Command Center, (see my February 13th posting if you do not know what this is). Do not know what I would do without that.
Friday was bad too, but not as bad as Thursday. Late Friday, I started to come around and was up until 6 AM Saturday morning. Have more energy then than I did all during the daylight hours. I am a scientific, medical mystery.
All that week and most of this week I have run a fever each night. Including tonight. Temp is fine all day, then at about 6 or 7 every night I start to feel real bad real quick, and sure enough the fever strikes. It has gone up to 100.5 at times, nothing to really worry about, but it makes me feel miserable. The Dr. tells me that I need to page him and possibly come into the hospital whenever my temp exceeds 101. That seems a little paranoid, but after that infection scare we got a few months ago, I guess you cannot be too careful.

Still going through the fires of the burning Lovenox shot every night.
Let me tell you that is some fun to take after you just threw up your measly dinner, and you are gasping to get your breath back, stomach muscles spasming and aching, barely able to speak you are so exhausted and weak, to have hot fire injected under the skin and left there to burn for 10 mins.
Last night the shot was so bad, I yelled so much and so loud I still have a sore throat still now 24 hours later. It was one of the worst ones ever.
I am down to under 130 lbs again (when I am drained of fluid).
Cindy is very worried about my weight.
I just cant seem to eat, and what I do get down, many times I throw up.

Have another drain tomorrow afternoon, and boy do I need it. Just had one done Monday. Full 4 liters, and I know I will get 4 off this time as well. That is the max they can take without admitting me for the night because of the electrolyte imbalance it causes.
Will have to sleep sitting up in a chair becasue of the stomach being so full.

Better try to get some sleep or I will get yelled at by the better half in the morning. It has taken me almost 4 hours to do this posting. It is now after 2:30 AM. For some reason the posting is time stamped by Google at the time of the first save, so it says I posted this at 10:49, that is when I started working on it. But hey that makes sense to Google for some reason.
You know how I feel about them already.

Many of you may have gotten emails from me with a lot of this already covered, but I wanted to share the Love with everyone.

Hope you all have a good holiday weekend. By the way, why the Hell do they call it "Labor day" if nobody works, shouldn't it be "Rest day" or "Lazy day".

Sorry I do not write more often but this month has been a real struggle.
Be good to each other and live every moment. Try to find pleasure in even the smallest things in life. Cherish your health and the miraculous ability to even perform the most mundane activities in life like going to work, or being able to mow your own lawn.
You have no idea how bad you want to actually do those things when you are unable to.

Everybody please get your preventative exams done regularly, don't want any nasty surprises from any of you.
Guys, get those prostrates checked.
Ladies get your Mamograms done regularly.
If any of you can trick the insurance company into covering a CAT scan for some reason, please have it done.
If I had one done earlier, many things may be different with me now.
Remember, my tumor was growing for many years prior to diagnosis. If a CAT scan had been done, anyone would have seen it.
Just love you all too much for anything like this to happen to you.

Love,
Greg

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Starting August with a fresh dose of Poison

Hi Everybody,
Tomorrow is August first, and I am starting it off on the right foot with a cocktail of 5-FU, Dicarbozine, Steroids, and a stomach drain. Here I sit in my Superman underoos thinking I need to catch you all up before I start getting in trouble for not posting. Some of you natives get restless when I go a while without giving you the new dirt. Been a quiet few weeks since we talked so here we go.
Just the normal aches and pains this past month, and fatigue seems to be a permanent resident now in my routine.
All things revolve around energy levels. My problem is that I get to feeling good for a few mins and think "Hey, lets catch up and get some crap done around here". But I have no meter that tells me when to stop working. I should do an hour of activity but try to do 5 or 6, sometimes even more. By the time I feel the pain or exhaustion coming on, it is way too late to stop without consequences. If I can feel it, the egg has already been fried and there is no going back to fix it. So I end up spending the next 24 hours in a sheer state of exhaustion, laying on my ass on the couch, slipping in and out of consciousness.
It is just that so much stuff gets behind in the business of the house, and bills, and errands to be done, and shopping to do. Cindy is already way put upon and does the work of two of us around the house, so I feel guilty and compelled to use every ounce of energy I have to help her out and take any duty I am physically capable of doing from off of her plate.
She of course then yells at me for doing too much and not looking out for myself, but it is humiliating to be incapable of taking care of myself sometimes, and not pulling at least 50% of the load around the house. I used to do more than 50% and now I just cant stand the fact she has to work all day, then come home and take care of me. She says she does not mind, but how long can that continue? Infinitely, she says, because she loves me and I believe it, but it does not take away the guilt or longing to make her life as comfortable as possible.
So that is how and why I wear my self out so much.
In other news, cooking has been my new hobby as of late. I am such a woman now, if the TV is on there is a 50% chance that the food network is showing. I sometimes spend hours in the kitchen cooking (normally broken into shifts) and then am too exhausted to eat it after I finally get it done. Also my apatite is like that of a flea. I so want to enjoy these great dishes, but they mostly go to waste after just a few bites. Pretty frustrating, but I get enjoyment out of the creative process and the actual act of cooking.
My mother does not understand this. She says her rules of cooking are, work no more than 15 mins and use no more than 3 ingredients. Hell, I use more than 3 herbs or spices in everything I am making. She does not see that I enjoy the process, like gardening or knitting. It is much easier to go to the store and buy vegetables, or sweaters, but people like to do the craft. This is my craft. Probably just a passing phase, but I am having fun for now at least, when I have the energy to do it.
Since Cindy is still completely vegetarian, many of the things I am making I have no one to share them with, which kind of takes away from the enjoyment some. It is always nice to see someones reaction to your efforts. Hopeful positive reaction. I don't even know if I am any good, because I have no one to critique the dishes for feedback.
Wish I could mail some of this food to some of you to try, but with this kind of craft it is impossible to share long distance.
Need to go get some rest before my big first day of Chemo. It is always about twice as long as normal chemo days. They do new tests and have to make the meds on site after the results are processed on day one. The rest of the week is just delivering the meds.
I am up to 2 stomach drains a week now. I have not gone 7 days without a drain for about 2 months. Running more like every 4 days and we are taking the maximum (4 liters, about 9 pounds) every time.
Have a good day, week, or month, however long before I post again.
Be nice to each other, for everyone you meet is fighting their own personal battle.
Love to you all,
Greg the Chemo Warrior