Post Procedure Facts

Some statistics for you about today's stomach draining procedure.
Today I will let the numbers do the talking.

Number of shots in stomach, 4.
Time at hospital, 3.5 hours.
Pre op belly circumference at a relaxed state, 38 inches.
Liters of fluid taken out of abdomen, 4+.
Number of curse words uttered by patient during surgery, 1.
Number of curse words uttered by patient outside of surgery, 27.
Time spent waiting for elevators during visit, 8 mins.
Number of 27 curse words accounted for because of waiting for elevator, 19.
First meal outside of procedure, 2 bean burritos at Taco Bell.
Post op belly circumference at a relaxed state (including said burritos), 33.5 inches.
Number of people that arrived after me at radiology but got treated before me, 6.
Outside temperature in Charleston today, also 6.
Number of frozen testicles while transporting from car to building, 2.
Length of nap after procedure, 3 hours.
Time spent in a stupor before having a chance to take said nap, 3.25 hours.
Number of times the friggin house phone rang during said nap and scared the #@!% out of me, 3.
Number of stomach cramps after procedure until now, 1000.
Number of relived patients who's belly doesn't look like an Ethiopian orphan anymore, 1.
Projected amount of days until patient is full of fluid again, 7.

Those are the facts.
Have a good week, I know mine will be better after this much needed relief.
Love,
Greg