Mid December Update

Almost a month since my last post. Sorry.
Have had a rough month, so I will use that as an excuse.
Took a long time to get over the last Chemo round and then never quite got back to having any good days. I had 1 on a Friday a week or so ago while my sister Tammy was visiting, the rest have been pretty crappy.
Man, I need 1 good day every now and then to keep the morale up. Getting the shit kicked out of you every morning for 5 weeks is no fun. I really need a break, lord, are you listening?

Latest CT scan results are in, and guess what, "no change" is the official result. I could have told them that 2 months ago when they scheduled this scan, they did the scans too close together, 9 weeks or so does not give you enough of a chance to see change. So now we are going to do another one in a month, which is what we should have done in the first place, but what do they care. I am the one with the co-pays, all they have invested is the time and ink it takes to write “CT-Scan” on a piece of paper.
We are taking a break from Chemo right now; we would have started on Dec. 3rd. But he was hesitant to do it given that we have some other problems to deal with that came up in my blood work and discussion about symptoms last week. I would have asked not to do it anyway, just because I have been feeling so bad lately. There is no way I could tolerate another round right now. So we have to get these other little weird things taken care of so we can get back to the real fun of poisoning me with Chemo. It is like a lottery, you never know what is going to happen when you go in for blood work or an appointment, but all the prizes are crappy.

Enough bitching, I am happy with the no change results even though it is really just smoke and mirrors. If we maintain the crappy level I am at and do not get worse that is a victory. Measuring in daily victories or losses is how I have been able to keep my sanity and social functionality going trough all this. If I step back and look at the big picture it really bums me out and I get all emotionally funky. It is not a good picture to look at, so I fight the daily battles instead, at least there I can get a win every once in a while, even though I might lose the war.

Had a birthday on Dec. 1st, turned 36 and am grateful for every year and day of that 36. Do I feel old people ask, hell yeah, I feel 104. I could only dream of feeling 36. Folks do not appreciate what they have.
Got some cool presents: bought myself a new watch that looks very similar to the Gold Band, Black Faced, Rolex Submariner, that is my all time favorite watch (never had one, this Timex version is the closest I will ever get I am sure). Also bought myself a Grandfather clock. I have wanted one my entire life and think they are the coolest piece of furniture in any house I go to. So this year I said to hell with it and went for what would make me happy.

Got the coolest present of all from my in-laws Larry and Ellen. It is a jacket that has heating elements in it. Since winter is here and I am in full arctic exploration mode as far as apparel goes, this is the perfect addition to my closet. It has a rechargeable battery pack that lasts for several hours and a controller in the pocket that lets you set the temperature, and select various zones to heat. The heating elements are located over each tit, and one in the back between the shoulder blades. (I say tit, because I have no pecs left since all the muscle mass went bye bye and I am as weak as Shirley Temple during the good ship lollipop days) It gets so hot that I have to turn it off about halfway to work each day. I LOVE IT. http://www.herringtoncatalog.com/ls714.html for more info.
It has 1 drawback, if you can call it that. It is black fleece, which is a total dog hair magnet. My 3 furry four legged kids love to rub on me and the jacket would be just covered in hair if I let them near it. We have this problem with all our clothes really. Since we are equal opportunity parents we have a Black, White and Brown dog so we can screw up any piece of clothing you have. I don’t so much pick out an outfit in the mornings, I just decide what dog to show off to the world that day. If you are wearing white, you will be displaying Ricky’s shiny and lustrous black coat. Wearing black? Well that is when Amber’s long and kinky white hairs dominate the ensemble, and so on. So I have limited myself to wearing it only outside of the house to keep it as pristine as possible.

Got some bad news this past week. My step-grandmother I guess you would call her, finally lost her battle with cancer. This would be Alyce’s mother Gini. She had been having a real hard time lately and fought for a long time like a champion. This is a welcome transition for her I would think given the circumstances. She was the sweetest thing you could ever imagine, the world needs more people like her. Cancer is a real son of a bitch. I would choke it blue with my bare hands if I could. It is infuriating to be so helpless and see a loved one go through something like that. So lets all remember Gini in our prayers and rejoice in the fact she will be with our father in heaven soon, and live peacefully in paradise for eternity, with no more pain and she can give the finger to cancer every day. I know I am looking forward to my finger flipping days.

Sorry for the long post, but had a lot of stuff to catch you up on.
Probably will not be posting again before Christmas, so let me say Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night.
As always remember to help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered. Why breed when there are between 10 and 12 million loving dogs put to death each year without homes? It just does not make sense. Adoption rules, and dogs rule!
Love to all,
Greg