Scan Results

Business first and then a story if you feel like reading it……
Had my 6 month CT scan yesterday.
These were described to me as preliminary results:
The liver tumors seem unchanged and maintained the same disease level.
The Lymph node tumor seems unchanged and maintained the same disease level.
The Pancreas tumor has grown by 25%.
So the medicine seems to be almost maintaining the current state of the tumors which is good.
We did not start on another cycle of pills, as my blood work did not look so strong. I go back in a week to check the blood again and then will probably start the pills again. I may get more detailed info on the CT results as well an the next meeting.
Overall the pills are doing the job, maintenance is good I am told.

Those are the facts here is a story.

For some reason they wanted me to drink two bottles of the barium solution this time. I called the radiology department last week to confirm that I had to do this since I had this scan done about a dozen times now and have never had to drink the stuff.
I think it is really up to whoever seems to be working the desk that day when the order for the test comes in. They of course said “oh yes it is critical that you come get this stuff and drink it prior to the test”. And I am thinking yeah right, it is sad when the patient knows more about the dang procedures than the hospital staff.
So one my truly 1 day off of this week that I am taking vacation, I had to go downtown to the hospital the day before the test and pick it up.
It’s about 30 mins one way and I am feeling like crap that day already. So I make it there and the lot I normally park in is full. So I have to go to another garage a block away. Circle up and up and up the friggin garage to the sixth floor before I find 1 empty spot, the whole time thinking I am only here to pickup a bottle and leave. I should park where the ambulances do. But anyway I continue to jump through the proverbial hoops and park in the stratosphere of this garage.
Then off to the elevator to wait for 10 mins. What the hell? There are only 6 floors? I swear the elevators all over MUSC must leave the buildings and go somewhere else in Charleston for minutes at a time. Never seen anything so slow.
Finally get to the building then back up 3 levels on an even slower elevator and wind through a labyrinth to find the radiology reception desk. By this time I am hunched over in pain from the walk and feeling like crap before starting my meaningless quest today. Walking like a hundred year old man bent over at the waist.
Now you would think that they had people coming all the time to pick these things up and would just hand it to you. Oh no. I had to fill out some crazy forms and then was told that they will call me and I should wait for the tech. I sat there for another 30 mins. Finally somebody comes out with a bag with two bottles in it and calls my name.
I get the stuff and ask does this have artificial sweetener in it? Since I just wasted my time filling out the form where I told them I was allergic to artificial sweetener. “Oh I don’t know” was the response I got. OK, so I tried to do the obvious thing of reading the label. No ingredients listed. That would just make too much sense. They simply could not provide the answer. I wonder why they even bother to ask you about the allergies?
So I give up and leave.
After waiting for the molasses elevator, I get downstairs and remember I did not get my parking ticket validated. So I go to the information desk for help. Here is the visual I am bent over like the hunchback of Notre Dame holding a bag full of barium in one hand and a stack of paperwork instructions to go with the bottles. I obviously had a legitimate visit to the hospital and was not trying to dupe them into getting free parking. Since there is nothing but hospital for 5 blocks in any direction I have no idea who would be parking in those garages for any other purpose anyway. The rocket scientist behind the desk tells me I have to go back to the third floor to get it validated at the department I visited and that I could be just anybody off the street and he could not validate it for me. Had I felt better I would have considered kicking him in the throat.
So back to the G.D. elevators to wait again.
Back thru the labyrinth.
Get the ticket stamped and off again.
Then 30 mins home.
What a day for this ridiculous stuff to drink that I don’t even need.
When I go to drink it the next day (still not knowing if it will kill me because of the allergy) I get 1 sip of the disgusting stuff and almost vomit.
It is supposed to be pineapple flavored. What they achieved was a sour pina colada that tasted like it was left in the sun for a week, then mixed with chalk.
They gave me two half liter bottles to drink in two hours.
I literally had to rinse and gargle with Dr. Pepper between each swallow. After an hour I had only gotten 7/8ths of the first bottle down and gave up. Screw Em.
So I was holding the barf bag the whole way to the hospital for the test because the barium made me so nauseous and then when I went in for the CT they still hooked me up to the IV contrast as well (which makes me sick anyway). I guess you could see through me with the naked eye after barium and the IV contrast. I don’t think they even needed to send me through the machine.
Anyway I wasted a whole day getting a bottle of rank stuff I could not even choke down and did not need in the first place, because of some radiology techs opinion that happened to answer the phone the day we scheduled the CT. Needless to say I am going to tell them where they can stick their barium if I get this again.
I might even turn them upside down, stick in the funnel and distribute the dosage personally.

Love,
Greg